I know I promised a post on Friday night but being sieged by an army of angry ninjas wont make posting things easy. Shuriken in the keyboard, annoying stuff like that. But now I’m here, my foes have been vanquished and I am ready to lay bare these past few days for all to see. But first, I want to hit up that list that I posted during the week. Instead of just talking about it though, I’m going to do do poorly thought-out haiku and senryu poems to make my wife grind her teeth…enjoy!

Anubis does his 2nd stint in the Klik-Klak!

A collar twisted,
freedom! Then lost to the cage.
Please don’t snip my nads!

Dude, Where’s my car?

Dead leaves witness
Nobody hears a damn thing.
Spoken, wheres your car?

Someone’s in the kitchen with Benti…

Conquered biscuits first
Then quiche. Now hearty beef stew.
Benticore can COOK!

So hows that novel writing itself these days?

The lengthy tome sleeps
Whole worlds flash before my eyes
I sigh, ‘Work comes first.’

How drunk is too drunk at the office party?

World’s best Tequila
Your wife is rubbing my head
Drunk, my shirt’s still on.

Street Patrol! Featuring Benticore and his aluminum bat, Chop-Buster.

More cars set ablaze?
STREET PATROL! Benti is in!
I got swords and bats.

If after the party your throat is still bleeding…

The medicine I’ve been put on for borderline high blood pressure (a very small 10mg a day dose) has the supposedly minor after-effect of a persistent dry cough. Well that mild little dry cough which was a tiny tickle in the throat Friday night (my first dose of the meds) turned into my throat nearly closing Saturday night, me frantically bailing out my throat with little, wimpy ahem-ahem noises lest I rend my tender throat into strips of raw, bleeding flesh. I haven’t taken any more since that first dose and I’m still recovering. Yuck.

The Chicago trip that never was…

My wife and I were supposed to make a trip to Chicago today to purchase some Ikea furniture for Cammy which she desperately wanted to have in her possession before Christmas (for some oddball, bird-brained reason, Ikea doesn’t deliver ALL of their stuff to you through online order, but just SOME things.) but because of my throat-ripping ‘minor side effect’ we wound up not going. I hate to feel like I held her back from going cause I really wanted to go with her but I would’ve been the WORST travel companion ever. I should have just stayed out of the way entirely, but, with our financial outlook being what it is, maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

Anyway, thats all for now. My throat is starting to throb and bleed (at least it feels like it’s bleeding raw, unfiltered pain down my throat and into my poor, tortured stomach) so I’m going to lay down. I hope your weekend was good and that you didn’t feel like you were going to suffocate in your own juices! Smooches!