Monthly Archives: March 2008

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forums

March 19, 2008 – 11:07 am

I’ve revamped my forums and htey are now up - we are discussing the upcoming meetup (I need to update my little button on the right I’ll make one tonight.) but it is still on on April 19th - I certianly plan on going and hope to see you guys there…

 forum link is right here feel free to link to it, and visit and talk, it was mentioned that a forum might be easier to keep up with than the massive trail of emails that we generated  in the last week, so I gutted the defunked poetry forum and here we go!

look forward to discussing things there with you all as well..  

By raquita | Posted in blogging | Comments (1)

Shes still only three

March 19, 2008 – 10:58 am

Mom: you child doesn’t care about orphans.
ME: Orphans? What orphans?
Mom: you know the “Orphans” The ones who would be glad to have all her toys cause they don’t have any. (she stresses “Orphans” the way you do when you are trying to make somebody remember something they clearly don’t or are making up as you go.. one of the two)
Me: Oh!!! The “Orphans” Why do you think she doesn’t care about orphans?
Mom: Cammy tell your mother what you said wen I said the orphans don’t have that many toys.
Cammy: Whatever (sounding a little to Cher from Clueless like for my taste)
Mom and I look at each other
Me: Cammy that’s not a nice thing to say.
Cammy: Oh WHAT-ever (I almost expected her to put a w on her forhead with her fingers)
Mom(quietly to me) : we’ve got a mild issue…
Me(quietly back) : I think more so that the issue is shes three and the orphans are abstract. Watch this. (turns to Cammy) Cammy what about Sydney, what if she didn’t ahve any toys? can she have your toys?
Cammy: Yeah Sydney can play with them all the time.
Mom and I look at each other with relief.
Me: I though I was raising one of the mean girls for a second there.

By raquita | Posted in Cammy | Tagged | Comments (0)

New Cycle

March 17, 2008 – 7:52 am

Just an FYI in the next few days and or weeks I am doin a little spring cleaning and changing hosting services, It must be done. My old host service sucks. SO I made the switch and will be dealing with a few other websites that I run for family and starting a new photograpahy blog as well. Since this server sucks when I post from now til the new server picks up I’ll be putting the whole post in the RSS feed instead of the partial that I normally do.

Thanks to those who gave me the heads up on the spazz that my site had been goin through…

By raquita | Posted in technical jargon | Tagged | Comments (1)

All the things I should have blogged

March 17, 2008 – 1:22 am

In all the hub bub about I have failed to tell you all all the great news floating around my home!! Cammy got into the school we wanted her to attend and will be starting in August!

This is so awesome.

Not that she didn’t get in last year, but this year I was on my game and she can actually GO this time! SWEET!

imgp5616I have never been more grateful for anything outside of their births and my marriage.

You know when people say they just want to give their kids the things they didn’t have - it sounds cheesy. I admit that. And I had a good childhood. I can’t think of very many things I just didn’t have as a kid. I got a car when I was seventeen, went to disney world, wasn’t beaten or abandoned, had typical little brother and little sister annoy the crap out of me things. I had a good childhood. But the funny thing is the things that worked just fine for me - don’t seem like they are the basic good anymore. We live in ST. Louis City and public school (which was barely holdin on when I was a kid) is SUCH a non option in my area. this is the first very major area of my a parenting where I felt a serious pressure to give my kids better than I had, to provide her with the best spring board to begin her walk into formal education. I don’t believe I am patient enough for home school. And Some of the local private schools while providing the excellent education I know Cammy would thrive in, would in my opinion stifle her development as a adult. We were very diligent in checking out the recommendations of parents who raised kids we liked and were the type of parents we admired, as well and double and triple checking the schools for academic and social atmosphere that fit our family as well as Cam as an individual. SO we are ecstatic to join this school family and hope Jerry and I get as much out of Cammy’s education there as she does.

BriGab is now a beautiful six months old. Shes a bouncy thriving beautiful little girl. SHes so much differnt than I expected her to be. She is much more like her father than CAmmy ever was, CAmmy is way more like me - way more outgoing, more social. Bri likes to sit back in the cut and observe. Shes, been sitting up on her own for a while now, SHes well on the solids, we have video of hte first bowl of solids - we’ll have to post that soon. I just gotta get my cut and splice on..

She’s got the hand thing goin on - they are the most fascinating things ever - her hands and the cat. Cat can do no wrong. She likes the decals on T-shirts she always wants to take them off. Shes into self service feeding, and tries to remove my shirt when she gets an urge.

She refuses to crawl, she, I think , is aware they being carried moves her along faster. and she now motions for us to pick her up - instead of this grand look of entitlement she normally had when she wanted to be lifted. She can roll over and does, she just does not really care for time on her belly. She moves like shes crawling gets annoyed and quits.

imgp5651 She can sit up with out support, puts everything in her mouth. She wants to feed herself so bad, and takes the spoon all the time.And she and her sister SHREEK at each other all the time. like I can see the stock in Advil I will need when they have sleep overs.

we did the easter bunny at a basic egg hunt,. Photos with pseudo rabbit were interesting. We took Cammys best friend who is on the opposite spectrum of affection than Cammy as shown in this picture. Cammys like “WHEE!! its a good time with the Easter bunny!” her friend is like ” dude - there is some chick dressed up in a rabbit suit, I feel sorry for you.”

imgp5620 We also hit the science enter although we only stayed for an hour and a half they are open late on Friday nights but the thing that makes me want to take them isn’t so we’ll need to schedule another trip soon so we can get the most of out our local attractions. Spoken came over that night to hang out while I put the girls down for the night and while I was feeding Bri sat on teh foot of my bed while across the hall in a dark bedroom the two girls giggled and laughed while trying to convince me that they were going to sleep, you know classic girl sleep over stuff. And spoken mentioned she couldn’t remember giggling in the dark with her girlfriends at that age. I hope Cammy and Syd both remember how much fun they had together all the time. I hope Cammy remembers that Syd is the person she always thought of when she got to do something cool. She always asks for another (fill in the blank) for Syd when shes getting a treat, and always tries to save some of her dessert, candy anything and everything for her. and if she doesn’t I hope I do so I can tell her how great her first friendship was for her.

Lastly as a Christian and avid book reader I when I found this book in my weekly bag of cheese I had a good and hearty laugh.  Anybody who doesn’t see the funny in this needs good hearty shake..

you guys have a great day!

By raquita | Posted in Cammy | Tagged | Comments (2)

Zena.. I mean Quita Blog Warrior

March 15, 2008 – 9:58 pm

I’m a hard chick, sort of. I try really hard to buff out the edges and dress it up all nice and pretty. But when it boils down to it. I’m too much. Too honest, too quick on the draw, I’m typically a lot to deal with.

And when you push me, I push back. Even if the most tasteful way I will push back. I don’t take well to ultimatums, and my confrontational side just aches for somebody to say “or else..” AWWW YEAH?!?!?! And I normally do a decent job of dialing it down. On a scale of one to ten I think I walk around on a four usually. Not a push over, and very diplomatic in my truth telling, but I still tell the truth.

My favorite Character on Grey’s Anatomy is Alex. He tells the truth. All the time. He. however, walks around on TEN+. This of course does not exactly facilitate the positive maintenance of casual female friends, which is why I work on a level four. I have comes to terms with this, I keep my inner circle of friends rather tight, and let the outer circles do what they may.

That being said. I am a passionate person. I hold my relationships dear. When I say I’m on your side, I’m there. Lock stock and two smokin barrels. When I believe in a community I am there ’til the embers turn cold. That being said, I love my blogging community. Blogging is about community. Much like the poetry community. So I assume it is only natural that I was drawn to it. I appreciate the friends I have been able to make and the people I have been able to meet.

I love the fact that my idea base has been broadened that I have become more accepting and understanding of different view points and political ideas. The thing I that suits me most about blogging and my blogging community is that we expect to hear your opinion and can disagree with out it becoming personal. We understand that a single idea does not define any one of us as individuals. And we can move past our disagreements and remain friends. We can in laymans terms agree to disagree and move on. Now to be certain this requires a level of logic that is not normally available in your average human being. But truthfully the people whom I sincerely value have that level of logic.

However it has come to my attention that some humans, how can I put this? They do not. Or they, assume my level of intelligence leaves something to be desired. Either way I have caused some…. tension.

Frankly, Scarlet….

I’m sorry I almost lost myself for a second there.

See here’s the the thing I want to make perfectly clear. None of us own this thing we have created and nurture. It is ours to build and enjoy and contribute to. It is not a business, it is not a corporation to be controlled and manipulated to benefit shareholders, or owners of websites, or organizers, or anybody else who would abuse it. So you’ll have to pardon me if the sudden “incorporation” of what has been a regular good time in my blogging world has me a tad bit defensive.

Did I lose you?

I’m sorry let me go back to the beginning. In the beginning there was a girl with a blog. Oh what? not that far back?

Fine.

So I first started meeting up with blog friends roughly in May of ‘06. I know a lot of my blog friends know each other and it makes for a real good time when we can get together as a group. We’re pretty open when we have gatherings the more of them that we have had - its always been a more the merrier kinda thing. Somebody is always like “Haven’t seen you guys in a while, lets get together!” And we do.

But recently some people have decided that THEY are the organizers and if THEY can’t put these things together under their logo, or what ever, then the person who has suggested that the community be involved in the gatherings, is in all basic thought - A Bitch, cause I know they’re thinkin it, and in actual verbalized words, MEAN. (what is this Jr High?)

and thats fine, I’ve been called worse.

But heres the thing. Their actions aren’t any better than a BNN, or a major market media company who wants to sponsor. Cause when it boils down they are only do exclusive sponsoring, only their goal is notoriety, not money, and thats fine, only - it ain’t. So all I’m sayin is the issue is really about control.

You can’t control a community.

The idea that you can - on a fluff “business call” be like - we’re separate from the community… Means solely you are exactly what we are trying to protect our selves from -outside interests taking advantage of us. What you forget is your business is SHIT with out us. So clarifying what you will be involved with and what you won’t - basically you guys fight the good fight and we’ll be here to party back at camp, kickin with your enemies - is totally reDONKulous. It is particularly annoying that this group is choosing to make mountains out of molehills at a time when we are all trying to come together to protect our work from people who want to exploit it, it is exactly that which makes me feel this way.

however my momma always told me if you want to see a persons true colors - just wait. They are comin.

By raquita | Posted in blogging | Comments (2)

two steps back

March 13, 2008 – 9:57 am

I was about to post something about how far we have come as humanity…

then I saw this and as I watched with clenched fists and anger, I deleted the post.

we need to get farther. I have daughters. Girls who will become black women. We need to get farther. We clearly have not come far enough. Potential Presidents be damned,we have not.

This is all I can say with out it turning into a soapbox I don’t particularly want to get on.

Somedays I feel like I harp on race too much, others I don’t feel like I say or do enough. I don’t know what to do.. which way to go.

I’ve deleted paragraphs, over and over again.

I’m sorry I just…can’t unclench my fists to say this properly.

By raquita | Posted in Cammy, Gabrielle, parenting | Comments (1)

Exposure

March 13, 2008 – 7:47 am

So this is how I break it down. I am a writer. (and a photographer!!) Typos be damned. I really am, I was and always will be a poet first though. So it’s a given I like metaphors.

So go with me.

I did a lot of performance poetry. I started off in 1999, and I loved it. I went to every open mic I could, all the time, at least four days a week. I wrote poems polished them, with the intent to share them. Went to open mics paid my fee to get in, and spit. (definition: Spit 1 a: to eject (as saliva) from the mouth. 2 b in relation to spoken word to say what is in the mind or on the page without further delay ) After a while people would see me at a poetry event and ask with enthusiasm “Are you spittin tonight?”

That was a cool feeling, for people to be coming to the open mic with hopes that they would hear me perform. And I did that for a while, paid my five bucks then performed. Got better, tried new things, it was a cycle, one I enjoyed.

Then one day someone approached me and asked me to feature, or headline, in more laymen terms. I was stoked. I took my nifty little thirty minute spot, ripped it, and happily pocketed the forty or fifty bucks, and kept going about my day. Before long it seemed insulting that I would pay money to get into to an establishment that I was the entertainment for the evening. Ironically, the host of the night saw me coming in the week I had this revelation and told me to keep my cover charge - he was glad I came. I never mentioned my revelation and I never paid another cover again. Eventually the people approaching me to feature were throwing parties with hundreds of listeners who were paying ten dollar cover charges. Eventually when the promoters approached me with what appeared to me to be paltry offers of, “I want you to feature for forty bucks, its great exposure..” sounded to my business savy ears as though they were saying. You are JUST a poet. Poets are a dime a dozen. And if you won’t feature somebody else will. Which is fine really. But I turned down features that didn’t at least start negotiations at a respectable level.

Its a matter of principle.

yes you can find someone who says they are a poet and writes a poem to read at your event. But you asked me for a reason. Cause I’m good at it. This is not a matter of ego. Its simply an observation. you didn’t ask me cause I was the first poet you came across, you asked me because I am good. And it takes good work to get people to part from ten bucks a head.

Why do I say this?

Where am I goin with this?

Oh dear internets. The blogging world has slowly come under the same type if misuse as the poetry world. Those who want to.. ah hem.. “help us” get “exposure” and reap the benefit of said “efforts”.
Because the same bigger than you mentality is starting to find its way into the blog world. Bigger (yet struggling) old school newspapers and people who have figured out how to creatively use code are trying to in effect, get us to perform for “exposure”. They are the new “promoters” and while I am all about the paying of dues (aka PD), truth is. Longevity indicates that we as bloggers have, and do daily. We pay for our hosting, we write the posts, we converse with the commenter’s, we build the relationships, and yes there will always be some newer, greener, blogger willing to bend over for PD and thats fine but eventually they will all get fed up and get sick of just taking it, for exposure. Cause unfortunately exposure don’t pay bills, it don’t feed kids, and once you get past the pretty lights and glamorous recognition (there is nothing like the first time you get stopped and gushed over or asked for an autograph) its all just a tool to get you where you want to be.

so to all the bloggers who say “I just blog about my cat, this doesn’t affect me” today you may not care, but what happens if one day you do? What happens if your blog ‘A tale of two kitties’ skyrockets in popularity and cat lovers around the world want to read about your….um… cat and you spend all your time talking about your… kitty, shouldn’t you be able profit if you choose to and not if you don’t. Should if you decide to make a livin pimpin your kitty to the internet, should any money made from your cat be yours? Isn’t the content yours to decide who gets to make a buck on it? (I’m all about the metaphors baby :) )

That is the why you should care about this at all. When someone else takes your work, no matter how small you think your value is, and assesses a value to it and then collects that value, it is wrong.

It is not all about what you want today - its about protecting what you may want tomorrow. If you don’t care today - sign up for a BNN (the site which sparked our debate today) and enjoy, but be aware of what is goin down, what you want and why you blog, and be mindful of how that might change.

For me and my house don’t scrape our feeds, we need our feed for our kids.

By raquita | Posted in blogging | Tagged | Comments (13)

March 12, 2008 – 4:53 pm

Jim made a cake!

I am so glad Jerry is my husband…

By raquita | Posted in a rename | Comments (0)

Happy Monday

March 10, 2008 – 4:31 pm

So this weekend was a score on so many levels, most particularly Sunday.

Weekend lesson learned: even kids need a date night.

What do you mean Raquita?

Oh dear internets let me explain.

imgp5501Since the introduction of dear Miss Bri, who in the previous post picture was eating a lovely Gnome, she has, by necessity taken Cammys place as the automatic sidekick to mommy. When I have to go somewhere, and I’ll be gone for more than say two hours, Bri typically must come with, as she requires my body for meals. Which means either Cammy must stay with her father or She must share what used to be her one on one

Click to continue reading “Happy Monday”

By raquita | Posted in Friends, family, funtime, parenting | Tagged | Comments (2)

Mmm, tasty gnome!

March 9, 2008 – 3:39 pm



Mmm, tasty gnome!

Originally uploaded by Tojosan.

Bri came with me to hang with bloggers… she found a Gnome… the rest is history…
She was a hit and a good good girl. Wonderful baby..

By raquita | Posted in Gabrielle, cuteness | Tagged , | Comments (5)