$2607.88 The cost to Dream

So I’ve decided that what I really want to do is work on expanding my photography into something I can possibly make a living at. The biggest hurdle in that is that anything I’ve wanted to take to the next level has always had a cost associated with it that I can never seem to make materialze, whether that be college tuition in my desires to get my education degree, or culinary arts which the costs and time investments were to great to be feasable in my reality or simply the smaller goal of the cost to print my poetry CD, which still as we speak sits unheard on my producers trusty mac PC. And the funny thing is the cost is normally about the same everytime.

This time its 2607.88 give or take a few shipping charges. For the CD I think it was 2400 or so. Tuition would have been a little bit more than 2500 bucks total, but tha prolly would have been close for the yearly amount needed. With the CD my backer decided that because I had purchased a gift valued at 150.00 for someone I didn’t need the backing for my project and pulled out. Let me think out this logic - cause I had a bill fifty I didn’t need 2400.00 bucks? Yeah that was a fun week. Shortly there after I got pregnant and my focus left performance poetry and became motherhood so perhaps all was for the best. But the one hobby that I have never quite gotten away from and never really wanted to leave has always been photography. And I’m pretty good at it. And if I spent the time and energy to practice and learn and absorb I could honestly probably be really really good at it, like people pay me more than industry average good at it. I think that mother hood actually makes me a better photographer cause I can see so much more than I could before. And in todays day and age – it takes way less to learn to be really good at it, you have access to so many great examples of awesome quality work. I am hoping that I can find my way to working in a studio and get some hands on learning too.

My husband – God bless him – is so supportive. I tell him all of this and he goes well make a list of what you need. He hasn’t actually seen that list and this blog entry which gives the actual amount will be the first he hears of the actual amount it would take for me to feel prepared to say to people, My name is Raquita and I am a photographer. And feel qualified to take market value for my work. his goal for me is to enjoy my work. Love what I do. And while I would love a life that included that, my previous choices have left me in the same trap many people find themselves in. Paying bills in a job that does the job. By no means a career but things like mortgages and day care and silly things like electric bills, and water bills don’t care if a career handles your obligations or if its just a job.

But I think I am at the point where I don’t want to spend the quality hours of my day doing other peoples bidding.

I just have to find a way to get there.