I have always been a loyal person. I don’t discard people easily and even when people fade into parts of my world not oftenly visited I am apt to watch out for them and listen for tid bits of their life - and am glad to hear good things for them.
Sometimes the tid bits are not what I wanted for them at all.
When I was freshly home from college, living with my parents was not exactly an option I wanted to entertain. So at the urging of my then boyfriend, and my very close friends Curtis and Val, and lots of other people I got an apartment with my boy John. He was like a brother to me and he annoyed me like a brother as well. He left the bathroom a total mess and he sucked at doin the dishes (I say that like I was mrs clean. Um. No.) but he was my brother. I loved him as such. I truly did.
We had a falling out. I don’t remember the details I do however remember that two random guys told me the things that killed it over dinner at Applebee’s (I was young I ate at applebees sue me) when they found out I was his roommate were totally surprised because I wasn’t all the things that John had apprently told them I was a week earlier, when they met him with other people I knew, that hurt me alot. I never explained why I moved out. I just did. Packed that night and left. terminated the lease. Paid the bills and moved home.
When I saw him again some years later - none of that really seemed to matter. We talked about what was up with us, he said he had kids, we talked about his son Charles, life in general, hugged exchanged numbers and email,and went about our lives.
The next time I saw him he looked tired - He said his son had be diagnosed with Cancer. But had beat it, he was excited he was telling me what they had planned for him. I was releived. Over the next few years I would google his name every now and again and find a tid bit here or there. We’d bump into each other now and again. I even met his son last year when Cammy first applied to the school she’ll be attending in the fall. He was there with Johns mom doing a visit, they were applying too. My mom mentioned a few months back that her job was doin a fundraiser for the boy - the cancer had come back. I never saw the news stories, never saw the paper write ups. I thought he’d beat it again.
I tried to find his info last month to see if he’d gotten in to the school too, I just assumed he HAD beat it again. Had no luck - hoped I’d see him at an open house, or on the first day of school. Thought how cool it would be to see someone I went to school with dropping his kid off too.
But I got a text today saying that Charles died on Monday.
His visitation is on my birthday. I’ll be going. I had no planson my birthday - this is not how I wanted to spend it - but I cannot not go and honor his life. Tell his parents how sorry I am, and show John I am still here if he needs me.
hug your kids today. Charles was five years old. My kid is three. Hug your kid everyday like you don’t know what will be in two years. Like you don’t know what will be tomorrow.
