Category Archives: mommydom

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you said it Selma**

April 15, 2008 – 2:26 pm

I really feel for those mothers who have the babies really young. It’s a lot of work and I think it’s the best time….It’s a little nerve-racking to wait that long, but it’s the best time to have it because you’ve done so many other things in your life. You just get it out of you system, and you can really relax into being a mother, which is the best thing that can happen to you.

But if you’re 23, you don’t know this because you think you have to do so many more things. But if you already did them, then you can really focus and enjoy every minute of it. - Selma Hayek

Selma is one of the sexy-ist, smartist women - in my opinion - in hollywood. She is one of the few women who I think could walk into my marriage and leave with my husband - for at least a few weeks, before he realised she can’t ______ like me and comes on home. Shes ticked a lot of people off with this statement, and I happen to agree with her whole heartedly.
Truth is I know both sides of this argument. My mom had me when she was week fresh 17. I had my first daughter when I was 27 - which by all arguments could still be concidered young but looking at the cycle my mother insisted my sister and i avoid, we were practically OLD. In fact when bpregnant with my second child my mother implied that I was OLD which was why it was more difficult the second time around.
Seriously.
Being 27 when I gave birth I felt like I had done the club scene and wasn’t “missing out” per say when my friends decided to go out, and I’m grown enough to know I can still go occasionally if I wanna. So I get what shes sayin, and I can see where young moms would get offended. I know none of my friends are going though whatI am going through mostly becuase out side of a few most of my friends have eight, nine and ten year olds. THey will be far done and kickin it again when I am contemplating whether Cam can be dropped off at the mall alone. SO there are some perks to early parenthood including hearing “you can’t possibly be old enough to have a 31 year old daughter!!” which my mom gets all the time. But my angle on it is- is having kids young something you would encourage your son or daughter to do? for me - no - I will, as my mother has done, encourage my kids to wait as long as they can to have kids and live as much as they want before hand - cause kids change the way you live, they just do.
What do you guys think? Selma out of line?

**updated for the visuals the hubby asked for.. satisfied?!?!?

By raquita | Also posted in parenting, randomness | Tagged | Comments (14)

No Risk, No Reward

April 11, 2008 – 12:50 pm

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain

No Risk, No Reward
Seize the Day
Go for broke!

these are the things I hear in my head everyday - the voices that I have to quiet, the ones I have to ignore as I make my way to work in the morning.

I have been in a personal quandry for a little while. My husband thinks I am unhappy and he blames himself. My daughter touches my face and tries to make me smile. my family wants me to be bubbly and perky. I have been twisting with the direction my life has taken, the things I have done - decisions I’ve made. I have never been one to wallow in regret. I do however spend a vast amount of time

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By raquita | Also posted in mostly me, parenting, wifedom | Tagged | Comments (7)

grandparents v2.0

April 8, 2008 – 3:08 pm

Last weekend Cammy got to spend some much desired time with her Gigi, who is my mother and of course her grandmother. Cammy calls my grandmother, grandma, and her Grandmother Gigi. Why? because she said she isn’t a typical grandmother she didn’t want a typical title. But the thing is, in 2008, I think shes way more typical than one might expect.
Now, my grandmother is old school. She is the person who kisses boo boos, makes soul food, cuddles, stretches bed times and lets what few things I deem not okay, slide with the turn of the head. Shes the one who over bundles them in the winter and stiches clothes when torn. My grandma is the frequent baby sitter, (she actually comes to my house to keep Bri every day instead of sending her to daycare) the one Cammy runs to for extra affection and what one would consider typical grand-mothering.

My mother it seems belongs to a new breed of grandparent. Jerry and I often lament that 30 is the new 20, so then to our parents in their forties and fifties, fifty seems to be the new thirty.

My generation can no longer count on our parents to be waiting in the wings for grandchildren to become their evertything. Grandparents now a days are almost as plugged in as the grandchildren they are trying to avoid. My granny is on gmail and uses google talk. Alot. My mom is all about the newest Treo/Palm/Blackberry that will help her manage her business. My dad, is doin, dad things which I only know includes golf, lots of golf. Don’t get it twisted, all of Cammys grandparents pour out of the wood work for birthday parties, Bri’s christening was well attended by grandparents on both sides. If we tell them its important - they show up. Cammy has expressed desire to see her Papaw and he comes the very next weekend for a trip to chuck-e cheese. They are enthusiastic grandparents. But they are not the old school “Hey bring the grandbabies over..” breed of lore.

and honestly I’m not surprised. when I was a kid my grandmother was around, even then she was not like the grandmothers on TV. My granny didn’t even LOOK like the grannys on TV.
by michael cunninghamThis is not my daughter idea of a granny. She is beautiful and this is a beautiful photograph by Michael Cunningham. But, she reminds me of my great-grandmother.
Sista FunThis however - what my kid knows as grandmothers. My mom to the rear in her natural state (aka having a good time) with her sister who is excitedly expecting her first grand child this fall.

They don’t do baking cookies. MAYBE from a package. If you don’t bring the ready made dough, and all the accoutrement necessary mind you, its a no go. They don’t OWN a rolling pin. Well, I gave my aunt one for christmas, after the christmas cookie fiasco of 2007, but I can’t say I think shes yet to use it other than to threaten her husband or son to take out the trash at this point. They aren’t making biscuits from scratch and spending lazy afternoons making lemonaide and watching the grand kids play in the yard. Grandparents today aren’t anymore the 50’s sterotype than we are as parents.
Cammys grandmother aka Gigi moments this weekend came from ordering Room service for the first time and dancing til the wee hours of the night. Learning how to manage her dress while serving with Aintee Syl. There are no arts and crafts happenin at Gigi’s house. While Gigi loves to come by when we are baking cookies or being crafty thats not what Gigis house if for per say. Gigi’s house is full of jewelry boxes to be poured out and perfumes to be sprayed. High heels to parade around in. And its all for Cammy, as my mother has yet to get the cahones to take both girls at the same time. Bri how ever is not going to allow for that much longer. (thats your fair warning Gigi :) )
In our world grands have full schedules and it takes weeks of advanced planning to get the kids in for overnights. In our world we are lucky that we have the multiple generations which give Cammy such VAST experiences with Grands.

how do grandparents work for you guys? Has it been what you expected?

By raquita | Also posted in family, parenting | Tagged | Comments (4)

bar baby

April 7, 2008 – 6:15 pm

I just read the most interesting article about moms and babies and bars. which is funny cause in my last post I was talking about how my mom had her birthday party at the Ritz in the lobby which - has a bar in it. A full, honest to goodness bar mind you, with kick butt mojitos, and a sushi bar in another area. So when I read this article I had to laugh.

It never occured to me to not take my girls with me to wish their grandmother a happy birthday. Cammy was excited to get dressed up in her party dress (she looked way better than me mind you) and I don’t think any less of my parenting because they went and stayed up rediculously late and had a really good time. We didn’t ply them with tequilla shots, and I didn’t drink either. But Cam did help with passing out cake slices and danced with her Granny and followed uncle Erskin around till well after her normal bed time. SHe learned seh couldn’t drink grown up drinks, but learned the joy of a shirley temple. It was a non smoking hotel so we had no issues in our party really.

I don’t take my kids when I want to hang with my girls and really have a drink. I don’t want my kids to watch me get saucy. I don’t take my girls unless I know we are going to be among a group of people who are child friendly, I am usually not concerned about the venue, and I have no intention of drinking. But I have taken my kids to pubs like Llywellens, and Ice and something or other. And I will again, I’m sure.

I beleive if my kids are well behaved and enjoying themselves they can go anywhere I want them to. I don’t allow my girls to throw tantrums - at all - in public places. Cam knows that is a sure fire way to get taken home ever so quickly you might for get you ever left.SO I am always confident about taking my kids where ever I want them to be.

do you guys take your kids to places typically not concidered kid friendly?

side note- Randy Pauch is going to be on ABC News on wed. I watch his lecture once a week. I’ve been watching it since the week after he gave it- when I first saw it - it wasn’t on youtube yet, you had to go down load it from somebody at the school. It helps me remember who I want to be and how I want my kids to be. I would strongly recommend you watch it if you can.

By raquita | Also posted in Cammy, Gabrielle, family, parenting | Tagged , , | Comments (1)

Jill Scott Vs. Diego

April 1, 2008 – 8:33 am

So the Jill Scott concert was Wed 3/26 here is rainy St. Louis.

did I get to go?

Go ahead! Ask me?

“Raquita did you get to see one of your favorite living artists perform live?”

Dear internets No I did not.

And then to add insult to injury I find out Diego is coming to town and my first reflex is to get tickets to take my toddler who loves Diego.

From previous blogging you guys know I have no issue getting elmo/sesame street/muppet-puppet/tickets I always get them - good seats too! like row three or some crap. But I can never get good seats to grown up shows. I feel like if I can see elmos boogers I should be able to see the sweat on Jill Scott’s forehead. Just should. I think its only fair.

So in protest I think I am not buying the tickets to see Diego, I think I will spend that eighty bucks on a memebership to the science center. We’ll get more use out of it anyway, and do muppets the next go around, If I get to see MY SHOW maybe we’ll do the muppets.

I sort of sound like a pouting toddler don’t I?

By raquita | Also posted in gorwnup-ness, parenting | Tagged | Comments (3)

The second beginning…..

March 22, 2005 – 4:34 pm

Truth of the matter is I have no idea what the purpose of this blog is or will be. My pen has been dry for so long I am itching to write with no subject matter at hand at all, I am dying to be near writers, poets, anyone with ink in their blood stream or staining hands, but my sun has set on my time as a poet, anyway that’s how it feels most days. I am so busy being a Mommy (daily diapers and pacifier hunts- but she is so worth it) and a fiance (planning a wedding out of the country - of which the groom simply says ‘I’ll let you talk to Raquita… when asked anything about it) and a daughter (buying her first home from her mommy realtor - self explanatory) and a sister (being supportive during her wedding planning and his life crisis) , and I’m sure I’ve forgotten at least three hats I try to wear instead of just trying to be me. But alas I am aware and this is my first step in trying to regain my footing, regain myself.
I guess I should start from the place I was most happy and introduce myself. I am Raquita, A poet / spokenword artist from St. Louis MO. I was commonly know as Queue. I performed regularly and wrote more than that. I love animals, dogs and ducks particularly, and art of all kinds. I can be rather opinionated and stubborn. I am a procrastinator of the worst kind, I lose things and forget more often than I care to admit, I have let down my friends more times that I care to remember. (My sincerest apologies to anyone I have not had the opportunity to address personally) I am not tall not short not note worthy except for my passion and heart, so most people miss me for what I am. I’m okay with that. Biggest flaw, I can’t spell - figures.
I spend my days knee deep in my child Camille. She is every dream I ever had of motherhood. We talk and laugh and this, our first nine months together has been everything. I am knee deep in wedding plans, and a bit frustrated with the entire industry of wedding bliss. Why? Wedding dress shopping.
I am not small, and have never been. I am of ethnic descents African mostly, Native American cause I combed that great grandmothers hair, so I got what I needed; the hips and ass necessary to be a black woman. And that automatically makes me too big for standard society. I went dress shopping but unless you are a size 8 you can’t buy a dress off rack in the wedding wonder world. Shoot if you are bigger than a twelve - you can almost forget about it. I almost forgot that I was primarily dress shopping because my mother and sister are so gung ho about this part of the wedding process, and started to get really upset about the lack of availability since your average american woman is a size twelve, (which is a size 16 in wedding gowns, who said wedding dresses are good for your ego?) My sister is a size 6, and ever the trooper, she came as my personal mannequin. But no matter what dress I liked they just didn’t come in my size. I’m thick so poof is out, anyway it was snowman looking- no good. All I wanted was a simple A-line silk thingy with minimal stuff on it, that will go all flowy in the breeze since I’m wedding on a beach- is that too much to ask? Clearly the answer to that question is YES, or at least maybe - today anyway. I’ll try asking again and come back to let you know how that goes….

By Queue | Also posted in a rename, mostly me, wifedom | Tagged | Comments (0)