Jodeci: so your havin my baby

that is the track of the day. If I was thinkin I’d have Jerry put up that little mp3 player he likes to use so much.

So gang – Turns out I’m not a lazy bastard. I’m so tired lately because….

Drum roll please…
We’re pregnant.
Pregnant pause here- pun totally intended.

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Yeah turns out all that you are too sexy sex we’ve been having is actually a functioning part of procreation.

Who knew?

And while the little bugger will be coming along just a quarter or two earlier than we had planned, we are still excited about the pending arrival of said little butter bean.
What? What is that you say? Was I excited with the little plus sign and extra pink stripes came up on all the little sticks I pee’d on?
And while I am aware most of the elders in my world think I am gonna kill an extra kid, I think we can swing it. so all those relatives who have been dreamin about fish and babies and fish and twin fish (well I can’t address the twin fish thing yet) – yes it is I and yes I did blatantly lie to you when you asked me – I kinda wanted a FIRM Dr.’s confirm before I went around yappin about a baby, and I wanted to make sure I was in the right place about it myself.
I’m the mom who doesn’t have a choice. I love who ever this is in my tummy already and I gotta do the best I can by this one, just like I did for the last one.

Funny how you don’t think you have a choice. and in that make your choice. Fear is a grand motivator, and people, I am scared. You have no idea. ever feel like you are juggling all the ball you can you got balls you wish you could pick up but you know you’ll lose it all if you do and now somebodys like you GOTTA add this one…

yeah it was like that when I saw the plus sign.

Cammy is my biggest fear though. Cammy. And Jerry mind you. I can’t ever put those balls down. We’ve been having a little time digesting this as a couple. As a dad – he seems excited by the prospect. But as my husband I can see he’s kinda stressed about it. It was the one change I don’t think we really were able to prepare ourselves for, the change in the kind of time we spent together. We adjusted, well enough but the fear that it will be more of a sacrifice is wearing just a little bit on the edges on my marriage.
Family having isn’t all butterflies and roses. And I think that is the suckiest part of it all. I’ve spent the last few weeks, getting to know the little person in my tummy. Listening to the things I crave, (fruit, Just from Dierbergs mind you, orange juice, and milk – which I am not a fan of drinking flat out) I remember thinking when I was a teen that I would just magically be able to have all the babies I wanted, and everything would magically work out okay, we would never fight over money, and I would lose my pregnancy weight in record time.
The reality of my life – while not terribly different from the dream I had as a thirteen year old, is different. Magically I want WAY LESS KIDS than I did when I was thirteen. And my husband and I rarely fight at all but it is normally over our lack of feeling control over or finances, but that really doesn’t happen too often, its more of a momentary outburst than a real feeling of doom. And everything does work out in a magic called compromise and communication. Sometimes I think we are too honest with each other, (this time I think we were sweetie) but I really think we can make it. Two kids and all.

Who knew the W.O.B.L. training included additional kid work?