Redefining Perfection

When I started this photography thing – like decided to go to the next level with it. I attacked it like I attack all things. Methodically. I poured tons of research into figuring out what it was I truly wanted to do. Its how I do everything. When I was deciding whether to  join my good friend who wanted to open a bakery (as my second love is cooking and baking- BTW I want to slide a big congrats to Reine for chasing her dream and catching it, ) I read and researched everything I could about the time investment, what I would need to do to make myself feel safe in launching that business, what successful shops looked like across the country – took culinary classes, read business plans, everything I could think of to decide if that was the dream I wanted to chase.  I think I figured out rather early in the chase that it wasn’t my dream, not the big one. I think I wanted to help Reine reach her dreams, and I genuinely enjoy baking, and would not have been a bad way to spend a career.  But its hard to sacrifice for someone else’s dream, hard to put your family in a tight place. So it became important to find my dream.

When people ask me – and they have – how did I decide this was truly what I wanted to do. I told them that I thought back to the jobs I had that never felt like work – that I would do for free. And it always came back to photography. Most specifically wedding photography. Shoot, I DID do it for free for the very longest time. So I began the research all over again, shot a few more weddings, put the hat back on to see if this one fit better, and it did.

I am going thru allof this in my mind because since yesterday time has become a very important comodity in my world. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, then you may have heard, my mother in law has been diagnosised with Cancer. Her options are few, time is not on our side. She has had a difficult walk, from what I have been able to gather. This is just another fight to her – she has not crumbled and seems more ajitated and frustrated with her body than angry or sad. Some times she seems resolved and determined to use her time her way. She has hugged my kids more, touched her son more. And I find myself proud of her, as if I have any right to that feeling, but it is there.  My husband and his mother do not have a pretty history, it is littered with large gaps and silence in too many spaces, but they both seem resolved to find some footing given these recent developements.

He makes me so proud every day.

Also as if my week needed a cherry on top, my primary computer totally died, and will take three weeks to get back in – so yes, that means since I can’t process orders this week, I’ll think up some sort of sale to celebrate my being back up and running. If you’ve already placed an order I’ve got those files competed and they were not on that hard drive – those orders are find – I just can’t make any NEW ones. So if you haven’t ordered from your session (Stephaine I am looking at you) new sale time would be a good time.

Thank you for all the well wishes, all of them have been received and I hear you and I am grateful for your words and prayers!

Your awesome-ness knows no bounds.