I am a daddys girl.
I offer no apologies about that. My mother has stated my father may not have been the best husband but he was a good father to us, and I totally agree. In my childhood – which I admit was longer than average, my father could do very little wrong. Still can’t if I am honest with myself. Now as an adult and looking at my father as a man I can see his imperfections and they don’t affect my love for him. Even in decisions I disagree with I can typically see my fathers reasoning, and understand. With my parents divorce I was honest about my disapointment in the decisions that were made – and was able to move on easily. I don’t see my father nearly as much as I would like, that fault lies evenly between us. I hoped for a son so perhaps I would see him more often the way I knew a daughter would bridge the space between my mother and I. When I was house hunting the house around the corner from his was so attractive because it was close to my daddys house, and my sisters.
I say this, and mention all of this beacuse I know my father reads my blog. My father has always been the one to happen across open journals tossed around and been brave enough to delve into my teenage angst and talk to me about what ever he happened to read on the open page. And it never bothered me, I never felt violated. He was my daddy and it was cool that he cared enough to look. So when he left his first comment on my blog, I was suprised but then almost immediately I wasn’t. I think I was more surprised that he used his computer for more than fantasy football and banking, than that he read my blog.
Now my daddy is contemplating marrying again. Apparently that is an understatment, because depending on who calls you to discuss this news He could be married again before I give birth. Or it could just be an engagement sometime next year.
And I’m not sure how I feel about it. I mean I stand on my base stand and support my family in their decisions. If my father loves this woman and honestly wants to marry her I’m there with bells on and will do what ever he wants to. don’t get me wrong, I like her well enough that she could be a member of our family for the next thirty years and I could be okay with that. But this isn’t really about her. Its about my dad, as a man.
I don’t want him to marry because its the next logical step in a long relationship. He saved me from that once. I don’t want him to marry because our faith frowns upon living in sin, religion frowns on so many things. I have learned that it will be one thing or another and I can always find some sin in my life so i try not make that my major deciding factor,and I hope he does the same. It will not affect how I view anyone if they chose to live together and not be married. As a matter of fact – chosing this for any group of these reasons would be a bigger disapointement to me. I always wondered if my parents hadn’t become pregnant with me or any other child so young would they have decided to break up long before now. not that I wish they hadn’t made the choice. But you know the movies whre every decision spawns a alternate universe where the people chose the opposite, I often wonder who they would be if things had been differnt for them. I don’t want him to make the “right” choice again. if you knew my dad – you would understand what I am saying there.
He is always the stand up guy who does the right thing, most of the time, anyway, from my limited daughter vision. And while that is great, the right thing isn’t always the right thing to do. I hope he marrys because hes really really wanting to share his life with her. Ready to walk from everything you have to walk from when you make that choice. My biggest fear for him is that he becomes the guy who has been married and divorced four times, and is dating a college senior Tiffiani who is ten years my junior and isn’t really happy. hey – my dad is hot – he could pull a college senior. I want both of my parents to be really really happy.
I don’t want him to not tell me the actual whole truth cause he thinks he knows what I will think or say. I could suprise you dad.
seriously.
I love you with or without my rose colored daddy glasses.
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Does anyone have Tiffani’s phone number?! jk
I believe let people make their own decisions and even though we care about them don’t be too overly concerned about the consequences. I am more than sure that your dad is aware of all of the implications, repercussions and consequences associated with his actions. The bottom line is that he should do what is right for him (what will bring joy into his life) without having to worry about his actions being accepted by his children. Our first inclination is always to protect the people we love, but just as no child wants overprotective parents I think that it works the other way as well. I think that this statement that you made is all that you need to stand behind: “I love you with or without my rose colored daddy glasses.”
Please don’t take this as an attack or criticism. I meant neither. I know how much your dad means to you. In fact I doubt that there is anyone in the world who can hold a candle to him in your eyes. Whether or not he makes a decision (this one or any other one) that you don’t agree with it is still his to make, and at the end of the day you will still love him.
that is kinda my whole point here – Whether or not overprotective is the right thought here – as long as I love him, I’ll tell him exactly what I’m thinkin, hey – its the reality of love.
Hey Rickie,
I like to read your thoughts, and like most men I to fall short of the grace of God. I try to stand tall in the eyes of my children. Because you and your siblings are my heart. But rest asure that when I marry, it will be because I’m ready. I’m not rushing into this without some caution. I don’t want the same results for this relationship as the last. Life is short and when find someone that compliments you and this person helps you grow you can not help but wonder is this the right person for you. But you take your time to be sure that your not on the rebound and you check your feelings and emotions. The one thing that I know is true, you love me and your sister loves me and so does your brother. I’m not perfect that’s why I’ve been single for six years, I’m taking my time. The last thing that I want to do is to hurt anyone again. Devorce is painful for everyone, not just the parents. It has a rippling effect that goes to the core of a family. I still feel guilt at times when I don’t see you or Cammy and Jerry and Ronata and Peirre and Rocky. Devorce has a big price and there are times when there’s not enough time in a day reach out to everyone. Kim is a great lady, she’s not perfect but neither am I. I feel that we fit, she does things that drives me nuts but when I’m not with her I miss her. I’m ready to give this marriage thing another try, and pray that god blesses it. I Love You, remember without you there is no me. Daddy
Hi, Raquita. I mosied over here from Mostly Fluff. Now that she’s not posting, I’m looking for someone else to keep me entertained. lol…But I just wanted to tell you, even though you are obviously already aware of it, that you are mightily blessed to have a daddy like yours. I always wanted a daddy and never had one, and I feel like it screwed me up pretty badly as far as knowing how to relate to men. (I’ve been married 5 times.) No matter what happens in your life, the fact that you know your daddy loves you will keep you whole.