The catch up

 **Happy Birthday MOM!!*** (pictured here with my Brother – Cammys diva trainer Rocky.)

 So I forgot to mention previously that I got to spend a little time with some St.Louis Bloggers, not a whole lot as my in-law situation was EXPLODING that day – but it was very nice to meet a whole new set of women. I always feel a little akwards at events like this – I feel like I talk too much and I am nervous about being the only black chick but I have found that aside from my sister who has joined my ranks as a mom, I am the only black chick in my circle, and certianly one of few on my blog roll. I don’t have ANY black mom friends. At least none with kids in my kids age range. And most of the black moms I know have kids who are MY AGE. Which rules out alot of play dates – you know?

Anyway – it was really cool to meet Lisa, Rebecca, Jaelithe - whom I already know, Michelle, Linlee and Kristie. i really look forward to meeting them again , I am still working my way through their archives, but I find that I have ALOT in common with alot of them, and it will be fun to see if they agree. They are all listed in my links along the side now. I had no camera – although all of the ladies have pictures on their blogs. Cammy came along and we had a good day- we chose stuff for her room at Lowes, and we got to really hang out and have some girl time.  

Easter is upon us, and its just another opportuinity for me to have some fun doing stuff for the kids. So I am Easter basketing it up, and I think I am gonna ask my dad to come with us to the easter egg hunt on Saturday. Cause he prolly won’t be at the one at my moms house. Just a guessLook for tons of Photos from teh weekend come mondy or tuesday.

And then there was the inlaw. You know I only really concider my mother in law my inlaw, my father in law is simply Jerrys dad, grandpa, no formal title needed. We love him and I know even on his worst day he is in his way looking out and caring for Jerry, and I can respect and love that. And I do love my father in law and love to see him with Cammy and Jerry. And I really like to talk to him, he really is the smartest man I know besdies my own dad and Jerry – in no particular order.
However – this mother in law thing. Is taxing. My mother in law has lots and lots of issues, the first of which is that she simply was not there for my husband for roughy twenty years. So now shes back – from outerspace! I just walked in to find you here With that sad look upon your face, oh wait this isn’t a disco moment is it?
Well Jerry actually reached out to his mother when our relationship became serious probably late ’02. And we contacted her on and off when things happened, just to say hi, trying to feel out a bridge that might get them to a point where they wern’t strangers trying to pretend they were more than that.  But that didn’t quite work, until she fell ill, which was roughly April of last year. And now magically she remembers she has a son. That may sound a little cynical, but that’s now it feels. Whats the Rap song lyric - Back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot they all on me. Thanks Mike Jones – couldn’t have said it better myself.

And me, as the wife, this puts me in an interesting place. In the begining, i encouraged him to see who she was. I’d remind him to call her ever once in a while, just to touch base. But now as the whole picture becomes clearer, I feel this raging need to protect him. To let him know that he doesn’t have to chose what he thinks is the nobel and “right” thing. He’s allowed to be angry. He’s allowed to have limits and draw lines.  I’ve said before I’ll go to the mats any day for my husband and family. Even if that means battling against the woman who birthed him. And I wonder what that makes me? 

We make the calls, and find the info. We do what we think we should. We even do what we don’t think we should have to. But i don’t know about the hubby – but I feel just kind of like this was dumped in our lap, by this family we don’t know. His sister has been MIA, the aunt is like – handle it. And when I try to expain that this is more than we are ready or willing to deal with – they look at me like we are crazy. Like – Its your mother!, and I want to go, “When, exactly when was she his mother?” I’m not at all saying i want to just leave her to her own devices, but I don’t want him to feel pressured to be more than he feels he is to her.

 Quandry.