X-Factor

I love the X-men.

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I do. I used to collect the comics with an ex-boyfriend, and in my rush to RUN away from that relationship, I conceded the collection to him in our parting. (dumb arse move of the week) It was mostly the Age of Apocolyspe series that I miss most for reasons I will expand on later. I always had a particular affinity for the charaters Storm and Rouge. *just a note that in the movies both Storm and Rogue are a complete let down.  
Moving on – I liked Storm cause she was the black charater, a woman mind you and dude- she could control the weather. How cool is that, I think I kinda feel like rain… and poof you got some rain.

Now Rogue she was a completely other ball of wax. Her gift – and curse, if you will – was that she pulled the life out of anyone she touched. She was smart, and funny and fun, and dangerous, thus always on guard. Can you imagine being with people who you care about and care about you and never being able to even touch them? And if they touch you – you could kill them? Rogue spoke to me on so many levels. her drive to be apart of a group she could never completely be apart of. Despite the difficulty a life like this must have presented she fought and loved with her friends.  Gained what she could, made the best of a very strange situation.

Until one day a freak moment changed everything. In the world of comics, alternate universes can exist and the boundaries of the rules of the comic world can be tested. In the world of X-men the alternate universe I loved the most Age of Apocalypse. Why? Because in this universe someone figured out how to touch Rouge and not die doing it. And I remember reading it and feeling this clear sense of relief, that someone out there will figure out how to get close. Do what ever it takes to love you. Whatever. 

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in this alternate universe Rogue had a son, and a husband. She saved his life, her husband and proceded to fight to the death for her child.

I admired that fight in her at the time. Prayed I would be as willing to die for my family. That I would turn warrior woman, and battle friend or foe to perserve what is mine. That like the mutants in the comics I read, when the threat was posed I would respond swiftly, deftly.  
And I am faced with that fight, now. I watch my husband battle his personal foes, and all I see is my yellow gloved hands prepared to defend, to protect.  this picture to the right is a perfect visual for me because the people she stands to fight are members of her team, and in our case they should be, I pray they are, but I can’t let my guard down, I can’t watch him be hurt. He has figured out how to touch me, to love me and I would die before I let something, anything put him in harms way. Some days it makes me the bitch but so be it. my mother and the women in my family taught me many lessons this is one of them. Stand firm, fight hard, protect home, at all costs.

At. All. Costs. And I will.

J you once asked me what would make me fight for you.

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This, our right now, our everyday, makes me fight for you. You truly are the man I dreamed of growing old with. And everyday you show me in so many new ways why I am the luckiest woman. Pride is something I have grown somewhat used to feeling. it is as regular a emotion for me now as the like and love I have for you. It is as warm in my tummy as the aftershocks of our nights. And I don’t tell you enough that it is there. How often I am standing next to you praying my thanks that this was in Gods will, that we are in Gods will. I know I am hard at times. I hold people to standards that seem unrealistic, but its you. How can I not hold them accountable when its about you? You and Cam are my whole life. Our coupleness is everything our family is built on. You are everything my future is built on.

And i will always stand ready to fight with you.

i love you.

all I need now is white hair and weather control and I’m set. I get the feeling Cammy will provide the white hair.