Comments on: you said it Selma**

By: I'm Mikey

I'm Mikey — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 19:34:59 +0000

I had to speak up on this one. AMEN! I had my baby girl at age 31, and I tell ya, I’m glad. I ran WILD in my 20′s. Really wild. But once I had her, things totally changed. I feel like I would have resented having a child too young and not being able to go places freely. Now I feel settled and like there’s nothing left I need to do without her. She’s my life. Although… you do get tired.
I watch other younger moms who are out partying and taking that time away from their kids. Kids are only young once, you only get those moments ONCE. I don’t understand the need, but I’m watching one in particular who’s run off with a trucker and left her 13 yr old and 7 yr old daughter behind. Just left them to go truckin. WTF??
Selma’s right. Every word. And you’re right. Children change the way you live. I’m glad I got the nonsense out of my system before I had her.

I’m Mikey’s last blog post..Obviously, I lack common sense

By: raquita

raquita — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:36:18 +0000

Cammys bday is June 18th born at 10:12 pm ..

By: Farrell

Farrell — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:34:57 +0000

PS - When is Cammy's bday? Becuase we are both 31 and we both had our child at 27...Sophie's is Oct. 26, 2004. Farrell's last blog post..I Felt It

By: Farrell

Farrell — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:34:20 +0000

I’d totally play for the other team for selma. she is HOT.
And I would totally TOTALLY be OK if Sophie, later on, is only into girls. Because then at least she can’t get pregnant. And OMIG THAT IS MY BIGGEST FEAR EVER. Isn’t it for every parent of a daughter?
I DO think I am a lot more patient NOW than I was in my 20s. I’m still not very patient, and if that’s what you think of me, that’s fine, just know that it used to be a lot WORSE (scary I know). Anyway, like everyone said:
I think if you accidentally or purposely get pregnant at an early age, then you should probably just make the best of it and you’ll probably grow up a lot faster than some childless 25-year old that is still doing the bar scene. And if you decide to wait, great. To each his own. No judging.

Farrell’s last blog post..I Felt It

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:14:06 +0000

I'm constantly asked when I'm going to have kids (as though it's a given that I will), with the insinuation that since I'm 27 and have been with Jeff for 7 years, that we should have already done so. When I give the lame response, "oh, that won't happen until my thirties" (because no one really wants to hear my long, drawn-out response about the complexities of this decision), I'm always told, "the sooner, the better. it's easier when you're younger." It's so similar, in my mind, to the judgments placed on moms who either choose to stay home or keep working. . . there's too much judgment all around and we need to just realize it's all a shade of gray. Rebecca's last blog post..Back to Previously Scheduled Blogging

By: marta

marta — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:07:04 +0000

I had my son at 34–the right time for me. The rest of the world shouldn’t get to decide when a woman has a child. All choices have ups and downs. Sometimes we make choices we regret and sometimes we rejoice. Either way, I’m not insulted by Hayek’s comment as it has nothing to do with me, my son, and my life.

Honestly, some people are never ready for children no matter their age.

It was fun to come across your blog. Interesting topic.

By: Gregg

Gregg — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:59:16 +0000

I realized recently that I'm at the age (42) my parents were when I was in college. They seemed OLD and all together. I feel younger than they appeared, but I don't feel like I have it all together! Anyway, my oldest is 12, and I feel like we had her at the right time for us. Waiting another 6 years for the second didn't really give me more patience, though. Naturally, the younger still REQUIRES more patience. It's hardly fair, is it? Gregg's last blog post..All Done!

By: mp

mp — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:33:39 +0000

First off I'm so excited to meet you sunday! Secondly, I am of that age where my High School friends are both sending kids off to college AND having newborns. The ones sending the kids off to college seem to be trying to relive the youth they "lost" while parenting..bars etc.. Me, I've been there done that... we spend our weekends with my step son doing Scouts, movies, soccer etc.. it's about being a family and I don't feel I've missed ANYTHING.. SO yes..I agree w/ you and Selma. mp's last blog post..Radom Wednesday Thoughts

By: mommymae

mommymae — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:37:08 +0000

i would consider myself young when i had my first (2 since they were twins) and wouldn’t have it any other way. i was 25 when they were born, 29 when my son was born, and will be 31 in august when my last is born.

my mom was 28 when she had my sister, 30 when she had me, and 33 when my brother was born. i don’t think she was old, but i wanted to be younger than her when i was done and since we wanted 4, we started earlier than almost all of my friends. my husband’s friends have just started having kids, so our youngest will be the same age as their oldest. and that’s his only friend with kids. none of the others do.

i’m not offended by selma’s comments, since what works for her doesn’t necessarily work for me or anyone else. i was never into clubbing and never really when out in college unless my band was playing out.

AND…like elle said, my husband and i will be living it up when we’re 50 and our frinds will have 10 year olds. i like that outcome.

mommymae’s last blog post..these are a few of my favorite rings…

By: jaelithe

jaelithe — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:22:56 +0000

I don’t think, from reading those words, that she meant to insult anybody. I certainly understand her reasoning and to an extent, I agree; however, I think the “right” time to have kids is hard to define and different for everybody, and people should work harder to recognize that.

As someone who did have a kid at 23, when my son was a newborn, I found that a lot of people- doctors, older moms, childless friends my age, etc– treated me almost like a teenaged mother, and I found that infuriating. People constantly brought up how young I was, sometimes implying that meant I couldn’t possibly know what I was doing as a mom. (Ironically, of course, almost all of these people were probably born to THEIR mothers while their mothers were in their twenties or younger, since that was the norm just one generation ago.)

I had a college degree and a job at 23. I had been working since 16 and living away from my family since 17. Maybe my life history made me feel older than most 23-year-olds do these days. But it really bothered me to be treated as some sort of unfortunate oddity.

And I think that’s why young mothers have responded so negatively to Selma’s comments. It’s not that she really said anything offensive– it’s that moms in their 20s are just fed up with being treated like irresponsible airheads by a society that only just decided in the past decade that 30 is the new standard age for motherhood.

jaelithe’s last blog post..St. Louis Bloggers’ Guild